I come across this quite a bit. It’s a really big determining factor about whether or not somebody is going to be able to create the kind of success that they want.

I see this when I’m speaking, when I’m working with groups or whether I’m coaching an individual. The same phenomena show up quite a bit.


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The ‘tell’ of whether there’s going to be success accomplished by these individuals or not is what I call THE NOD. The nod in itself is not a bad thing. The nod I’m talking about looks like,

  • a head bob
  • you enthusiastically jump in wanting to share a story of something similar; an experience you’ve had that reflects the topic I’m teaching on
  • you hear the voice in your head saying ‘I’ve heard this already’


It would be great if that was true and it was actually working for you. But the reality is that it’s not true for most people. They’re agreeing, but they’re not actually doing. The reality is that people who engage in THE NOD are often closed off to hearing the nugget of wisdom or the opportunity that’s there for them to learn, to expand themselves.

The reason a lot of people do this is because you want to appear like you already know what you’re doing. You’re a pro after all, right?


This needs to be repeated because it’s so important.

Quite often, the behavior is that you do this because you want to appear like you already know what you’re doing.

What’s really mind-boggling is that this happens whether it’s at a free training or whether the person has highly invested their money and their time to show up to an event or for coaching. We don’t like to be wrong. We don’t like to look like we don’t know it all.


The question is, ‘Really, do you already know what you’re doing?’

I would hazard a guess that your answer is no because you’re showing up for the training.


An easy way to tell if this is you is to ask yourself when this comes up and you notice it, ask yourself,

Do I already have the success that I’m wanting to achieve in this area?

If you answer NO, that’s great. Your next obvious question is,

How do I take this and apply it to my business or to my life?

If your answer is YES, fantastic! Now, you get to ask yourself,

What else can I do with this? What more is there for me to know about this?


Experts are continually evolving themselves. They show up and listen as though they’re hearing something for the first time. They look for how they can use this. For them, it’s never a wasted opportunity.

But for the person who shows up and says ‘I got this’, is the one who ends up struggling for their success.

Next time you’re out there striving for success and you hear a nugget of information, ask yourself,

‘Am I really listening? Am I open to using this to evolve myself to become the Expert that I am meant to be?’





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