In my last blog, I shared information from Amy Cuddy’s work about connecting with the use of body language. She goes into it in great detail in her new book called, Presence. We talked about Power Poses. You can see one of the Power Poses right on the cover. This one is called the Victory Pose.
I want to add something to what I already shared in the last blog. If you haven’t seen that blog yet, you can access it here,
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View video here, https://youtu.be/zuT2MWU-BJg
I talked about a couple of different power poses and how you hold a power pose for a couple of minutes to prepare the body and get the body into a different state, which is a state of feeling powerful. What I want to add to that is that those poses are to be done just prior to entering into the event you’re heading into – before the meeting or before you go on stage.
However, don’t show up at an interview and strike the Wonder Woman pose during the interview. It just won’t work that way. It will work against you. I just want to leave you with that tip.
I have done quite a bit of research and study myself in the area of communication, impacting and influencing and making connections with people. A lot of the research indicates that 2/3 of our communication is done non-verbally. In fact, there are studies that show 60 – 93% of our communication is non-verbal.
That’s a huge impact and really important to know if you’re wanting to make to make a connection and influence people.
The way we project that communication is through our body, through our posturing, our energy and how we show up in each situation. What’s really important to know – this is critical – you are making your impression on somebody about who you are and what they can expect from you in less than 1 second. A mere fraction of a second.
They are making a pre-determined judgment about you before you even say a word. That’s really critical to know because once they make a determination about what they think of you, it is really difficult to change that perception.
A lot of trainers speak about establishing the ‘Know, Like & Trust’ factor. Yes, it is important. But if you’re having to engage in that activity with an effort, you may be trying to overcome something that was missing in the first place. Or you may be trying to compensate for a shortcoming or a misperception.
In NLP, we also use a lot of techniques in helping us to communicate with people. NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming, which has to do with language. There are things we know we can do that help us to establish better connection and better communication with people.
One of the methods used is called Mirroring. This is when you are with someone and while in conversation with her, you mimic what she does. If you’ve heard of this before, it is likely you’ve heard it explained as mirroring the body posture or movements. So, if she tilts her head, you tilt your head in the same direction. Or if he crosses his arms, you also cross your arms, but you do it in an inconspicuous way.
Done with the right intent, it is one way of establishing a good connection with somebody.
Some of the other ways of mirroring are through the energy that’s expressed. At the onset of the communication, you are mirroring their energy level. You can also do this through tone of voice or attitude like if they are a serious type of person or someone who is light hearted and like to laugh a lot. That’s mirroring – when you match what they are doing.
Mirroring and doing Power Poses and having to think about what to do takes effort and it can be a lot of work. It will take practice. It is effective. But it does take a lot of effort and consciousness and concentration to be able to do it.
Doesn’t it make a lot more sense though if you let them see who you are in the first place? If you show up the way you need to show up in the first place, so you’re not having to overcompensate? So you’re not having to change their perception of you?
That takes being able to know who you are. It takes being able to know what your value is. It takes being able to take what you have, share that with whoever is interest in hearing about it, express to them what it is that you provide in a way that is valuable to them so that they are wanting to invest with you.
To have that, it really requires a high degree of clarity and congruency, so that what you do and how you show up – they match. That’s what I call Success Alignment™.
When you have Success Alignment™ you have,
- more confidence
- more ease about what you do
- more control of the situation
- greater connection with the right people
- an understanding of who not to connect with and be able to follow through
Having all of that, means more sales for you in a shorter period of time.
While all of these tactics are kind of helpful – I do support them and think we should practice them – it is far more beneficial for you to get into Success Alignment™.
That’s your real work.
That’s the work that’s worth spending your time investing in.
I hope you’ll join me on that journey.
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