The ‘build it and they will come’ era, may very well be behind us. Let’s face it, it’s a noisy marketplace out there for today’s entrepreneur. Not only do you have a lot of competition, but you have many more avenues to find your ideal clients, which means the playing field is far more segmented than any time in history. And it has you overwhelmed, exhausted, and spinning in circles.

When you do find your clients, you want every advantage to make the right connection with them. You want to give them every opportunity to choose you as the way to help them get the results they want. When they don’t choose you, it’s more important than ever to understand what that means for both their satisfaction and yours.

I’ve put together a list of hidden reasons they are not buying from you. I call them hidden reasons because they are not always obvious. These are not responses someone will give you if asked. These very common reasons, either conscious or unconscious, are running through a potential client’s mind when evaluating you [or not] as a potential investment, as someone who can help them solve their problems and help them reach their goals faster.

They are important to understand because they may not be easily identifiable to you, the seller. Having awareness of them gives you the advantage of making adjustments to your strategy, even if it means comfortably walking away.

Find yourself in this list and you’re well on your way to making the right connections with the right potential clients.



They Don’t Know You Exist

They can’t consider you if they don’t know you’re there. It’s not enough today to just have a website, a blog or be on Social Media and expect people to bump into you. In this noisy economy, it’s more important than ever to make yourself visible to the right audience, using the right platform and showcasing yourself as a viable Expert. Not only do you need to have a platform, you need to activate it so it becomes a living part of your business.

On the flip side, you’ll hear someone saying that you NEED to be on ‘XYZ’ platform– every new platform. A web developer will say you have to have a robust website. A PR specialist will tell you it’s all about the PR. An online marketer wants you to believe it’s the only way for your business to survive today. These are all half truths. Get familiar with the various avenues for you to be seen and heard, then chose 3-5 that are the best fit for you, your product / service and your audience. Ignore the rest.

You can’t be everywhere, but you need to be somewhere.



They Don’t Know You

It may be the first time they are seeing you, are hearing about you or are beginning to get curious about you. If they like what they see, they’re going to want to scope you out to know if what you do is attractive or useful for them. This is the stage that it becomes necessary to have essential resources available like your website, blog, or a LinkedIn Account.

If they like your message or your services AND resonate with you, they’ll get curious enough to want to follow you to check you out. This could take several exposures to your work and that takes a little time. Resources like a Facebook Business Page or a Youtube channel give them a way to do that and keep in touch.



You’re Delivering The Wrong Message

You may have the greatest solution to the world’s biggest problem, but if the language and presentation of your message are wrong for the audience, they won’t hear a word you’re saying and that means they will never buy from you.

I recently came across a coach attempting to make introverted people become BOLD. The language she was using was enough to scare away BOLD people, let alone attract the introverts. I’m an introvert and I wouldn’t go near her even if I knew this was the only way to solve my problem. I would rather suffer than subject myself to what I could only anticipate would be a nightmare. [I’m really curious to know if she has any clients.] To me this approach is the equivalent of beating someone into submission.  No thanks.

I don’t mean you can’t have a bold message. Just look at Jillian Michaels and how successful she was with her hard tactics. It worked for her because she worked with the right people. They were a match for her style. But an introvert will not respond well to those tactics or that language.  And if they do, it will be short-lived.

Know who you’re talking to and show them you understand and care about who they are. When I teach people my Success Alignment™ methods, they immediately gain confidence, reap financial rewards, understand their Expert positioning and get to experience fulfillment beyond their own imagination.



They Don’t Get Your Message

Even with your best intentions, you’re just not clear enough. A couple of things could be going on here.

The first being you don’t quite know what your own expertise is, so you’re all over the place. It’s not anything to be ashamed of; it’s something to be aware of. Your message is either watered down in vagueness or convoluted with no specific direction.

Or, you’ve been doing your work for so long that you forget what it’s like not to have the depth of knowledge that you do. You no longer relate to what it’s like not to have the knowledge. You make assumptions that your audience is at least close to your level of understanding. They’re not. You need to slow it down for this audience.

The key here is to identify where it is that YOU’RE at and address the issue from this perspective.






You’re Saying Too Much

In order to try to establish yourself as qualified, you want to serenade them with a ton of information to prove you know what you’re doing. That’s what people do when they’re either naive or desperate.

This is a problem because on initial exposure to you, you don’t have much time to go deep on anything to showcase your expertise properly. This, I believe, is the biggest problem Millennials, start-ups and those that are shifting gears have. I know I’m generalizing here, but I see it so often it bears mentioning. These groups skim the surface in a broad sense and don’t have enough substance beneath it to offer enough value for a potential client to recognize. So, they don’t invest with you.

Give them a chance to see why you are the Expert. Spend some time there. Go deep into a narrow component of what you do. Help them to understand that you’re not just another parrot mimicking someone else’s ideas. Show them what’s different about you and why you understand this topic, this problem, in a way that’s valuable to them.



They Don’t Connect With You

You are not the solution to the world’s problems – get over it. You may have a great solution that could help many, many people, but not all people want you to solve it for them. People are attracted to people they most want to be like or have something in common with and that’s a very personal matter.

Just like not every shoe style is appealing to you, you are not appealing to every human. Sorry. I know that sounds a little harsh, but it’s reality. You just need to look inside your circle of friends or the actors / activists / public figures you admire, to know this is true. The quicker you accept this, the easier it will be for you to focus on helping the people that you can help.

Being more of your Self is what will attract more of the people who will buy from you. That may take some humility, some vulnerability and a whole lot of doing your personal development work. The great news is, life is so much more rewarding when you get this.



Their Need Is Much Smaller Than Your Desire To Fill It

There’s a delusion many Experts, entrepreneurs, coaches and managers are blinded to. YOU are very excited about your product or service with authentic justification to feel that way. This is especially true for someone who just experienced an AHA moment or found the next greatest weight loss system. In your state, you’re fooled into feeling that everyone feels the same way. But they don’t.

I remember my mom getting annoyed with staff in our family business because they didn’t share the same degree of enthusiasm she had. For them, it was a job to get them to the next rent payment. To her, it was her life. There’s a vast difference. That difference is the motivation behind your actions.

Your potential clients may not be ready to take action – at least not yet. If they have an interest, they’ll keep you on their radar. They want to do it on their terms. Don’t blame yourself or try too hard to win them over. You’re not doing anything wrong. Keep them engaged by being visible and valuable, don’t push them or you’ll push them out of sight.



They Don’t Understand The Power Of Getting Help

Growing up, I was taught to be self-sufficient. We [the family] did [most] everything ourselves. It would be almost sacrilegious to ask for or pay for help.

I always had the desire for higher achievement, but I didn’t know ‘I’ had the ability to hire an Expert. That was something those ‘other’ people did, you know the ones who seemed to be on the fast track to Success. Only they had access to hiring help. How wrong I was.

This mentality had me tiptoeing my way onto my success path by reading books and getting books on tape. Don’t get me wrong. I love books. I even wrote 2 Best Sellers. And I continue to read a lot. At first, I wouldn’t even let myself buy the books. I relied on the library to help me out. It took me a long time before I invested in myself to realize the advantage of accelerating my success with the help of a coach who could get me. Oyyy!





You’re Playing In The Safe Zone

There’s a little misrepresentation ‘out there’ that would have you believe you can get both support and clients if you join the ‘like-minded’ group of people they attract into their programs. [by ‘out there’ I mean trainers, so-called specialists, and even Experts] In these groups your playing with your peers or colleagues that are no further ahead than you are, seeking the same thing you are. They would rather sell you than buy from you. This might be good place to practice, but it’s not a good place to grow your business.

I’ve witnessed far too many women do this with dismal results. They get into a business group or club and attempt to use each other to create platforms. They put a lot of work into a project, gain some experience, but miss out on growing their business.

Selling to your colleagues, friends or family has the least potential for your business to thrive. There are better strategies that make the right impact, reaching the right people. You must reach beyond that ‘safe circle’ and get yourself in front of the people who really need you and are willing to pay you. That’s where you need to place your selling energy. That means you have to do a little exploring and research to find where they are.



You Don’t Have A Clear Intent Of The Outcome You Want

Growing your list or your client base is a foundational business ingredient. So is generating sales. These are 2 distinct intentions, with 2 different outcomes. Decide at the outset why you’re going to spend your time on the activity you have in mind. What’s the point of it? What do you want to get out of it? There are many reasons to consider like gaining credibility, doubling your list size, generating $10k. They’re all the right intent when you are clear about your intent. But each one is different.

Know the outcome that makes the most sense for you and focus on that. Your strategies, your language, your connections are going to be different based on the intent of the activity.



Not everyone is your ideal client. Not everyone should be. Not everyone wants to be. It’s not personal against you, it’s personal to them. Recognize this and you will find much-needed relief from ‘pushing’ to get your next sale. This frees you up to use your energy on making the right connections.

Spend your time getting absolutely clear about your Expertise and knowing who it serves best. Stop wasting time trying to ‘convert’ prospects. Focus your time on connecting with the right ones. When there’s a match, you are no longer selling. You have moved into serving. When you can serve them, there is no doubt that you are the one they will choose.



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Josie Tytus is a Two-Times Best-Selling Author. She is the founder of 3C FUSION, a company dedicated to developing Experts. To learn more about our personal training, send in the following contact form,


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